what is love
that i no longer know
that i no longer know what i can and want from it

still got stucked in dream in career in music
for once again i wanna just leave everything behind 
running to taiwan and never come back again

for the clearer picture today
i know how peaceful the life i have had in the past 5 yrs
may not be ideal 
but seems it's the most rigid and comfortable
yes lack of sparkles
but is content

yes
i do miss the past 
and i do miss u

changes

today I got a new downer bag.
it's a new downer from today.,, new lineup, new spirit.

2014 is a very harsh year for me, too much changes,, too rapid, too much even can't be remembered. good or bad,, just too tiring.
while downer is the only place wherever I can cry and rest on,, play the music I Iike and be with mates I don't even need to act or 'work hard' on communication....

time flies, people grows older.. and u realize that 'changes' has to take place,, it may not be a bad thing, so just embrace it,, smile with it and go on with the people who are still next to u.. 'working hard' no longer means the others would feel as gd as u do,, doesn't lead to a gd result for a must...
so from today, look ahead,, while passion and spirit still lasts.....

distance

most of the time
i dont know whether i should keep away
is it an ongoing harm?
tho memories will never be washed
and they r actually part of my life
am i living in memories or reality?

i just feel so peaceful when i back there
embracing my 2 babies
empty my mind
breath slowly
touching their smooth and oily hair
smelling them
talking to myself

this seems the only way to calm my emotion and save my soul

it has been 9 months since.

Every breath you take
Every move you make
Every bond you break
Every step you take
I'll be watching you.

Every single day
Every word you say
Every game you play
Every night you stay
I'll be watching you.

Oh can't you see
You belong to me?
How my poor heart aches with every step you take.

Every move you make
Every vow you break
Every smile you fake
Every claim you stake
I'll be watching you.

Since you've gone I've been lost without a trace.
I dream at night, I can only see your face.
I look around but it's you I can't replace.
I feel so cold, and I long for your embrace.
I keep crying baby, baby please...

Every move you make
Every vow you break
Every smile you fake
Every claim you stake
I'll be watching you.

Every move you make
Every vow you break
Every smile you fake
Every claim you stake
I'll be watching you...

happy birthday, my dear

after all these happening in this half year,,
the day in office when i tidied my company's computer,
when i look at all the photos and memories in these years,
i can't stop crying.
i know im the one who ruined everything.
im the one who hurt my lover so deeply and thoroughly...

today i look at you, i know i shouldn't meet you anymore.. 
for your good.
maybe for mine, too...
i do love you in a way of family,, i just hope you good.
after all these happening, i found nth much are important in life to me,,
one of them is just to see you living good.

happy birthday, my dear choi ming hon.
have a fruitful 30.
it's just the beginning of your real career!!!
im always beside, supporting and loving.....
always here, and never walk away.

love,
kayee

old soil quote again

'love is not just about finding the right person,
but creating right relationship,
it's not about how much love you have in the beginning,
but how much love you built till the end.'

gd quote

“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.”
―Epicurus

Cherish. Be content. Dont take what you have right now for granted. Good night 

where is the love

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vbjUptGw3iw

Jennifer says that you've changed
She says that you're talking so strange
She laughed when I told her I'd messed
You around, tried to be kind when I cried

Where is the life that we had
Where is the love
Where is the hand that I held
Where is the love

Sister don't ask me
I'm a fool I'm a liar
And I can't see home

I saw you last week when you cried
You threw me aside with a line
Wish that I could just tell you I care
I love you I need you and I'm still scared
Cathy I'm cold I don't mean to be bold
But I need you to find me again
I'm wasted I'm fried I'm a fool I'm a liar
But I need you to hold me again

Where is the life that we had
Where is the love
Where is the hand that I held
Where is the love

Sister don't ask me
I'm a fool I'm a liar
And I can't see home

Where is the life that we had
Where is the love
Where is the hand that I held
Where is the love

崩壞

我支持不下去了。

nothing lasts

i guess i have just heard of the most ridiculous story among these years.
love is fragile.just as fragile as it can be.


i couldn't even imagine how does she feel and how can she face and react in the future, near future or the rest of her and the children's lives.

chi gun.not funny at all, my dear.
simply,nothing lasts.really.

harden your head skin

多數時候

一些決定

並不許回頭.

無論你有多想念。

然後

只有硬著頭皮向前走

於是你開始放開

讓一切隨它想要的方向發生

不再作決定也不作細想

更不再牽掛後果

因為

一切都無所謂了.

最終

走到身心俱疲被傷害得遍體鱗傷

偶爾坐下來看一下自己問一句: '為了甚麼?'

抬頭是深藍到發黑的天空, 看著那顆 '燈星'

會心一笑, 還是站起來走下去吧.....

我也只剩這shelter了。

學習是改變自己的根本 其實，你愛的是你自己。

一天，一個小和尚跑過來，請教禪師：“師父，我人生最大的價值是什麼呢？”禪師說：“你到後花園搬一塊大石頭，拿到菜市場上去賣，假如有人問價，你不要講話，只伸出兩個指頭；假如他跟你還價，你不要賣，抱回來，師父告訴你，你人生最大的價值是什麼。”
　　
第二天一大早，小和尚抱塊大石頭，到菜市場上去賣。菜市場上人來人往，人們很好奇，一家庭主婦走了過來，問：“石頭多少錢賣呀？”和尚伸出了兩個指頭，主婦說：“2元錢？”和尚搖搖頭，家庭主婦說：“那麼是20元？好吧，好吧！我剛好拿回去壓酸菜。”小和尚聽到：“我的媽呀，一文不值的石頭居然有人出20元錢來買！我們山上有的是呢！”
於是，小和尚沒有賣，樂呵呵地去見師父：“師父，今天有一個家庭主婦願意出20元錢，買我的石頭。師父，您現在可以告訴我，我人生最大的價值是什麼了嗎？”禪師說：“嗯，不急，你明天一早，再把這塊石頭拿到博物館去，假如有人問價，你依然伸出兩個指頭；如果他還價，你不要賣，再抱回來，我們再談。”
　　
第二天早上，在博物館裏，一群好奇的人圍觀，竊竊私語：“一塊普通的石頭，有什麼價值擺在博物館裏呢？”“既然這塊石頭擺在博物館裏，那一定有它的價值，只是我們還不知道而已。”這時，有一個人從人群中竄出來，沖著小和尚大聲說：“小和尚，你這塊石頭多少錢賣啊？”小和尚沒出聲，伸出兩個指頭，那個人說：“200元？”小和尚搖了搖頭，那個人說：“2000元就2000元吧，剛好我要用它雕刻一尊神像。”小和尚聽到這裏，倒退了一步，非常驚訝！
他依然遵照師傅的囑託，把這塊石頭抱回了山上，去見師傅：“師傅，今天有人要出2000元買我這塊石頭，這回您總要告訴我，我人生最大的價值是什麼了吧？”禪師哈哈大笑說：“你明天再把這塊石頭拿到古董店去賣，照例有人還價，你就把它抱回來。這一次，師傅一定告訴你，你人生最大的價值是什麼。”
　　
第三天一早，小和尚又抱著那塊大石頭來到了古董店，依然有一些人圍觀，有一些人談論：“這是什麼石頭啊？在哪兒出土的呢？是哪個朝代的呀？是做什麼用的呢？”終於有一個人過來問價：“小和尚，你這塊石頭多少錢賣啊？”小和尚依然不聲不語，伸出了兩個指頭。“20000元？”小和尚睜大眼睛，張大嘴巴，驚訝地大叫一聲：“啊？！”那位客人以為自己出價太低，氣壞了小和尚，立刻糾正說：“不！不！不！我說錯了，我是要給你200000元！” “200000元！”小和尚聽到這裏，立刻抱起石頭，飛奔回山上去見師父，氣喘吁吁地說：“師父，師父，這下我們可發達了，今天的施主出價200000元買我們的石頭！現在您總可以告訴我，我人生最大的價值是什麼了吧？”
　　
禪師摸摸小和尚的頭，慈愛地說：“孩子啊，你人生最大的價值就好像這塊石頭，如果你把自己擺在菜市場上，你就只值20元錢；如果你把自己擺在博物館裏，你就值2000元；如果你把自己擺在古董店裏，你值200000元！平臺不同，定位不同，人生的價值就會截然不同！”
　　
這個故事是否啟發了你對自己人生的思考？

你將如何定位自己的人生呢？你準備把自己擺在怎樣的人生拍賣場去拍賣呢？你要為自己尋找一個怎樣的人生舞臺呢？
不怕別人看不起你，就怕你自己看不起自己。誰說你沒有價值？除非你把自己當作破石頭放在爛泥中，沒有人能夠給你的人生下任何的定義。你選擇怎樣的道路，將決定你擁有怎樣的人生。說的太好了。受教。

為什麼一個老闆再難，也不會輕言放棄，而一個員工做得不順就想逃走，為什麼一對夫妻再吵再大矛盾，也不會輕易離婚，而一對情侶常為一些很小的事就分開了。說到底，你在一件事，一段關係上的投入多少，決定你能承受多大的壓力，能取得多大的成功，能堅守多長時間。馮侖說，偉大都是熬出來的。為什麼用熬，因為普通人承受不了的委屈你得承受，普通人需要別人理解安慰鼓勵，但你沒有，普通人用對抗消極指責來發洩情緒，但你必須看到愛和光，在任何事情上學會轉化消化，普通人需要一個肩膀在脆弱的時候靠一靠，而你就是別人依靠的肩膀。孝莊對康熙說:孫兒，大清國最大的危機不是外面的千軍萬馬，最大的危難，在你自己的內心。
弟子問：師父您有時候打人罵人，有時又對人又彬彬有禮，這裏面有什麼玄機嗎？師父說：
對待上等人直指人心，可打可罵，以真面目待他；
對待中等人最多隱喻他，要講分寸，他受不了打罵；
對待下等人要面帶微笑，雙手合十，他很脆弱、心眼小，只配用世俗的禮節對他

感悟：你受得了何種委屈，決定你能成為何種人
一個不會游泳的人，老換游泳池是不能解決問題的
一個不會做事的人，老換工作是解決不了自己的能力的:
一個不懂經營愛情的人，老換男女朋友是解決不了問題的：
一個不懂經營家庭的人，怎麼換愛人都解決不了問題；
一個不學習的老闆，決對不會持續的成功；
一個不懂正確養生的人，藥吃得再多，醫院設備再好，都是解決不了問題的
我們自己是一切的根源，要想改變一切，首先要改變自己！

學習是改變自己的根本
其實，你愛的是你自己；
你喜歡的亦是你自己。
你愛的、你恨的，都是你自己。
你變了，一切就都變了。
你的世界是由你創造出來的。
你的一切都是你創造出來的。
你是陽光，你的世界充滿陽光；
你是愛，你就生活在愛的氛圍裏；

你是快樂，你就是在笑聲裏
同樣的，你每天抱怨、挑剔、指責、怨恨，你就生活在地獄裏；
感悟：一念到天堂，一念下地獄。
你心在哪，成就就在哪！！！！！！

舊居中的鋼琴

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E2PUaPdbgSk



家裡的鋼琴, 還是留在那裡好了.
反正 不知道哪天又要起行...

人來人往

閉起雙眼我最掛念誰　眼睛張開身邊竟是誰
感激車站裡尚有月台　曾讓我們滿足到落淚
擁不擁有也會記住誰　快不快樂有天總過去
愛若為了永不失去　誰勉強娛樂過誰

愛若難以放進手裡　何不將這雙手放進心裡

時間會走　剛失戀的我　開始與旁人攜著手　但甚麼可以擁有
纏在那頸背後　最美麗長髮未留在我手

我也開心飲過酒

fact

We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. 
Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone. 
- Orson Welles

three years pass

three years pass

The woman is the reflection of her man

A Secret of Love

My wife got sick. She was constantly nervous because of problems at work, personal life, her failures and problems with children. She has lost 30 pounds and weighted about 90 pounds in her 35 years. She got very skinny, and was constantly crying. She was not a happy woman. She had suffered from continuing headaches, heart pain and jammed nerves in her back and ribs. She did not sleep well, falling asleep only in the morning and got tired very quickly during the day. Our relationship was on the verge of break up. Her beauty was leaving her somewhere, she had bags under her eyes, she was poking her head, and stopped taking care of herself. She refused to shoot the films and rejected any role. I lost hope and thought that we’ll get divorced soon… But then I decided to act on it. After all I’ve got the most beautiful woman on the earth. She is the ideal of more than half of men and women on earth, and I was the one allowed to fall asleep next to her and to hug her shoulders. I began to pepper her with flowers, kisses and complements. I surprised her and pleased every minute. I gave her lots of gifts and lived just for her. I spoke in public only about her. I incorporated all themes in her direction. I praised her in front of her own and our mutual friends. You won’t believe, but she has blossomed. She became even better than before. She gained weight, was no longer nervous and she loved me even more than ever. I had no clue that she CAN love that much.

And then I realized one thing: ""The woman is the reflection of her man""

Brad Pitt

goodbye

i have to go
even i don't want
hey friends and my family
don't worry
i'm alright
i have to go
even i don't want
hey friends and my family
in memory
till i fall
i walk in the meadow
without the miseries
i fly with the grateful in the sky
goodbye

time will tell

song of the month

我想相聚 誰便再聚
我想歡樂便隨意去追
我想相信我做得對
想到人極疲纍

when kid is no longer a kid :)

this post is for u
seems u'r the only visitor left XDXDXD

loop

the feeling is like 5 years ago when i was struggling.

things gonna cycle again


sigh

testing

for how long u haven't visited?
haha

keeping like this
1day i'll really get off the rail

even i'm trying very hard not to be.

since when

since when we dont kiss gdnight
since when we dont smile to each other
since when we dont embrace to slp tight
since when we dont cheer each other with little surprises
since when we dont speak sweet words
since when we dont care each others'feeling

since when it fades

cycling

tung chong yi mung

雞肋

4 yrs

4 yrs ago

i was struggling for breaking up

today

life goes on and things keep changing everyday

lots of compromise and sacrifice

life is never easy

i will add oil

just never guarantee a gd result je

hahaha

did think of alot of 'if'

if something didn't happen

if something doesnt go in such way

wat if...

um.. it's tiring

wat an exhausted day with lots of emotion

music heals me

and my bandmates are very important to me

they could give me the only period of i can laugh out loud with no pressure

cry out loud with no question in return

bonding is strange but close

there's love

lover

is someone when u really in need
he'll always be around
and never let u suffer.