5 lo 7 sheung

1. left hand ring finger dook yu dan, still pain
2. blood bubble x2 on the left hand side of mouth cavity
3. fart yim on the right side of tongue
4. chin bone become bigger and hurt alot after the crash with the head of the fucking chau shui guy during ballgame in Southern
5. right side patpat pain like hell everytime when sitting down, coz of the pk chau shui guy pushing me onto the floor during the same ballgame
6. right side pat muscle being bited by monster, yu jor
7. right upper arm muscle got hurt as of carrying the too heavy snare on the way home after series of exercise of ballgame + fastsongs jamming till 5am

lau lin but lei ar!!!!!

this time last year

back to the place that i was so familiar with
memories flooded
should be such a coincidence
as i read over my blog from the first entry since afternoon
plus the current situation facing with
reminding the similar words he said to me in the past
i dunt really feel comfortable tonight
in such place
with new ppl and new stories.
recently i've met alot of old friends & classmates occasionally in the street
with surprising eyesight looking at sino
and said,
what? why??? when did this happen? i thought u'r getting married????
i'm not feeling well about the 'surprising' reaction
dunt overestimate the strength of scar
of preventing the wound bursting again......


sometimes
you just should not be that understandable
in the case if you really care
grab my hands
and
dunt let me go
i wanna be calmed
in your embrace......

想

這陣子
人很累
太多事情要想
也許
太多時候
是我想太多
而好些事情
只怪自己觀察得太細微
令懷疑和不安充斥
令恨意和埋怨擴散
晚上睡不著
早上也就起不來
回到工作的時間也越是不合理
是該調整了
但那無力感
讓矛盾不斷的循環著
似乎還有沈下去的餘地
有
可以做的我都在做
縱然提不起勁
即使每每過後都把自己打到萬丈深淵評得一文不值
比上不足
比下有餘
人總有安於現狀的傾向
時勢使然
也許可以做的
也只有這麼多

我
很累.

scarred

being treated in a way that i've never been in the past of my whole life
shocking
and hurt
so damn much that i couldn't even imagine how deep it is
at the moment
i lost all confidence
how weak is the relationship that has been built for long
all in my brain
is to give up
and to quit
it's the very first time of seriously think of quitting
turnout
i still called
and found that there's no way to reach any solution
yes
tmr will be another day
tmr will be fine
but u never know
it'll always be there.
like a scar.
a very very deep thick one.
forever and ever.

3 Times And You Lose

I had a nightmare
I lived in a little town
where little dreams were broken
and words were seldom spoken
I tried to reach you
but all the lines were down
Summer rain began to fall
on this little town
…on this little town
The little people
have very little left to say
their words had all been shortened
they didn't really seem important
And I had a feeling
that you were very far away
but a little voice inside me said
you'll never get away from here
And it's 1, 2,
3 Times and you lose
of course it doesn't matter how you say it
I'm out of love
so there's nothing really more to say
I'm throwing it all away
And we had a peeling
but now we all faked to see
we never look at one another
only when another suffered
And if I saw you
then it was just another face
but I still don't blank horizon
lining on the human race
And it's 1, 2,
3 Times and you lose
of course it doesn't matter how you say it
I'm out of luck
so there's nothing really more to say
I'm throwing it all away
And it's 1, 2,
3 Times and you lose
I'm out of love
so there's nothing really more to say
I'm throwing it all away
throwing it all away
throwing it all away

第一天

其實也沒差很多

只是

感覺像..... 少了些甚麼

03-11-2008

自昨天晚上
輾轉反側
於是承諾了自己一些
是有一點賭氣沒錯
但同時發現
實行起來也沒有想像中的難
也許
他是對的

也只有時間
可以把不安不確定 失望和沒信心
來掩蓋一點點


'我也是不懂得分辨
只是到現在為止
我還是想跟你在一起'
那一陣刺痛
差一點沒把我走在馬路中心的腳步打亂
心連同抬著很重東西的手
就麻了這麼一下

大時代

經濟不景加上經營不善
大時代
淘汰就是這樣不近人情
只是
沒有想過是這樣的突然
和這麼的自私
朝令夕改
所有人都無所適從
而決定了的事情
也從來不會白紙黑字堂堂正正的向大家公佈
他就是喜歡讓你們瞎猜
然後站出來當個正義使者消去謠言
或是作個無辜不知情者把所有事情往下面的人身上推去
再
時勢做英雄
得勢的往往不饒人
也許我是想得太極端了一點
但可能
也沒差吧

黃小姐的冷靜淡然
說一句 honestly.... iris... be mature la...
我都明白
只是有時候
冷靜和冷血也只是一線的距離
而且處理手法可以好很多倍
該承認的就承認
大家都會接受明白理解
而非把人都玩弄在鼓掌
難不成他們還要替你的面子辯護
往你面上貼金?

淚差點就跑出來
也從不曾這麼艱辛地把拼命擠出來的笑容得以在臉上維持
一個接一個的壞消息
震驚得讓我透不過氣
那幼稚無恥若無其事的說話和表情
對不起
道行不夠
我受不了

該找工作了
與其留在這個地方
受著因他們離開而得到的額外薪水
我想
我還是離去會比較快樂

看到了不該看的
於是
失眠了一整夜