chi gun

it's waste 9 gas to talk to someone who just dunt even want to listen and care
dunt even try to understand ur intension but instead stand straight with own judgement towards
and at the end
yes
why does she has to care
or
why i have to be cared
coz i'm always the side showing normal face
having new bf
and have fun

diu 9

the dark side

when the supposed to be close friends around
turn out judge in such a direct way without knowing

it really hurts.

esp when they claims that they understand
and support as an outsider.

暗湧

說時遲
那時快
以迅雷不及掩耳
被刺了一下
好不容易建立的信心
瞬間消失得無影無蹤
嗚呼哀哉

up-to-date

unexpectedly i'm clearer than ever unexpectedly things are going smoother than ever unexpectedly i'm being treasured and loved than ever unexpectedly i'm even more pessimistic than ever unexpectedly i'm being 'let go' than ever unexpectedly i care tat much than ever unexpectedly they'r alike than ever unexpectedly i do look happier than ever

watsoever

wat's more than to enjoy and treasure?

Downer

Dont Walk Away In Silence
10.05.08
Warehouse

Take Back The Noise II

27.04.08

The Backstage

Rock Fuse

28.03.2008

Wei Hing Theatre

i'm truly so happy that could be part of Downer

their understanding

their respect

their support

embracing and protecting me in such a tender and soft way

though they pretend to be silent and cool all the time :P

bitch

so as a result
i'm hurting everyone

wat a bitch

oh tea~!!

the ot has continued for almost 3 weeks
plus the serious lost slp lasting for almost a month or more
i'm breaking
really exhausted
both body and heart

someone stands behind during the days
holding me filling up warm water into the deep holes in heart
when he has been going thru crazy schedule with teammates too
i treasure
really do
but in return i honestly dunno wat could i provide
yes
maybe he got his own way to find happiness and get wat he wants from me
but i feel guilty
and i couldn't build correspond confidence towards him
towards our relationship
this hurts alot
to both of us

tonight
is the 1st time i experienced tat many 1st times
which every of it becomes big deep strike in heart
first time of not meeting after overnight ohtea
first time of giving up chance to gain time
first time of being cut line
first time of being said 'suddenly i realize that u'r really selfish'
first time of having deadair coz i couldn't think of any excuse to escape
first time of letting problem to slp overnight beside
first time of throwing little rock piece to the sea and got no reply at all

it hurts alot
and so as him i believe

:(

請好好尊重自己

有時候
愛
總會使得人變得麻木
失智

我知道
也懂得你對我的愛和付出
可是
你所提的這個問題
也真的把我有一點兒惹怒了

請好好尊重自己
不論背後的動機是甚麼
要知道
使得對方難受
便成了自私的一方

我們不可能在眼前的日子再走在一起
可
大家都盡力把理智維持
以好好相處
也請珍惜我們努力維繫的一切
別輕易破壞了承諾
讓情感操控著
然後對自己說
我想得很清楚
我知道自己在幹甚麼
我曉得自己需要的是甚麼


其實
不然

請珍重

像是發瘋了一般 在狂吃

從來
吃好東西帶來的快樂
都被我用以掩蓋心裡的黑暗
每當情緒不好
我就只管吃
和洗澡
這陣子
我真的像是發瘋了一般 在狂吃
我不知道自己想要的是甚麼
不知道可以給人家的是甚麼
這些人都在付出
而我
把自己厭惡得無地自容
於是吃飽了
就想吐
想要把自己需要的
通通都吐出來
孑然一身
沒拖沒欠
然後是那種不安和害怕
質疑和不信任
切切實實
在身體上發洩出來

有誰來
阻止一下

SunnyDay Afternoon

just couldnt tell why
i feel like having 3 days holiday for this weekend
i enjoyed alot
though tired enough
yes u'r right
i'm pessimistic
i didn't really think much when i made any decision recently
just to let things go naturally in its own way
there should be no absolute black or white
but seems i'm fulfilling everyone's require
meeting one's want
and maybe at least
i'm needed
and i'm wanted
naive
yet true
true like the blood coming out from the wound
drop by drop
getting dissolved in the pool of water
the drops are so so tiny to change any state
so so tiny to create any influence
so so tiny to make any difference
but it's really drops of real hurt
from strikes in my heart

time flies
yes it needs to be healed
by someone
someone that i tried to open my heart to
maybe i'll feel sorry if one day it finally fails
but here i could only tell
the times we created
are definitely good ones
then tat's already enough to be remembered
with no regret